I basically spit out my gum and then stepped on it.
When bad habits happen to good people
The basic things we all want-fulfilling relationships, accomplishments of which we're proud, meaningful success at work, to be of service to others, peace of mind-are surprisingly straight-forward to achieve; But, in many cases, our best efforts to achieve them are built on habits and behaviors that, simply put, don't work.
Part1:"Change Your mental defaults," you will learn how to regain control of your behaviors and actions...will help you become grounded; Part 2: " Strengthen your relationships," will increase your capacity to handle difficult emotions; help you become connected to the people around you; Part 3" Optimize Your Work Habits" you will learn to work- and lead-in a way that inspires the motivations, loyalty, and commitment of the people around you.
2. Rethinking goal setting:
We all know how important it is to have goals. It makes sense: if you don't know specifically where you're going, then you will never get there. And if you don't set the bar high enough, you'll never get there.
It's not that goals by their nature, are bad. It's just that they come with a number of side effects that suggest you may be better off without them. The author of a Harvard Business School working paper, "Goals Gone Wild," reviewed a number of research studies related to goals and concluded that the upside of goal setting has been exaggerated, and the downside, the "systematic harm caused by goal setting," has been disregarded.
They identified clear side effects associated with goal setting, including "a narrow focus that neglects non-goal areas, a rise in unethical behavior, distorted risk preferences, corrosion of organizational culture, and reduced intrinsic motivation.
A goal defines an outcome you want to achieve; an area of focus establishes activities you want to spend your time doing. A goal is a result; and area of focus is a path. A goal points to a future
It's practically impossible to predict the negative side effects of a goal. When we set goals, we're taught to make them specific and measurable and time bound. However, it turns out that those characteristics re precisely the reasons goals can backfire. A specific, measurable, time-bound goal drives behavior that's narrowly focused and often leads to either cheating or myopia. Yes, we often reach the goal. But at what cost?
So what can you do in the absence of goals? It's still often necessary to drive toward achievements, especially in business. We need help setting direction and measuring progress. But maybe there's a better way to achieve those things while sidestepping a goal's negative side effects.
I want to propose one approach: instead of identifying goals, consider identifying areas of focus.
A goal defines an outcome you want to achieve; an area of focus establishes activities you want to spend your time doing. A goal is result; an area of focus is a path. A goal points to a future you intend to reach; an area of focus settles you into the present.
A sales goal, for example, might name a revenue target or a specific number of new clients won. An operations goal might articulate a cost savings.
An area of focus taps into your intrinsic motivation, offers no stimulus or incentive to cheat or take unnecessary risk, leaves every positive possibility and opportunity open, and encourages collaboration while reducing corrosive competition-all while moving forward on the things you and your organization value most.
In other words, an area of focus offers all the advantages of a goal without the negative side effects... the key is to resist the temptation to identify the outcome you want to achieve. Leave that open and allow yourself to be pleasantly surprised. I'm not suggesting that this is easy to do . I never realized how goal focused I was until I tried to stop focusing on goals. Without goals, I found it hard to trust that anything would get done at all. But things got done. And in my experience, not only will you archive at least as much as you would have if you had set goals, but you will enjoy the process far more, avoiding unnecessary stress and temptation.
In other words, if we focus on the tasks instead of the outcome, my kids will still get to the door on time, but they will have flossed, brushed thoroughly, and left the bathroom clean too.
3. Byron's Real Problem: Commit to following through
Each attempt to motivate himself will only increase his stress and guilt as it widens the gap between his motivation an his follow-through, between how badly he wants to work out and his failure to do so. We have a misconception that if we only cared enough about something, we would do something about it. But that's not true. (the culprit might be follow-through)
Motivation is in the mind; follow-through is in the practice. Motivation is conceptual' ft is practical.
Here is the key: if you want to follow through on something, stop thinking. Shut down the sabotaging CONVERSATIN THAT GOES ON IN YOUR HEAD BEFORE IT STARTS. DON'T TAKE THE BAIT.STOP ARGUING WITH YOURSELF.
4. My first TEDx Talk: ditch the urge to be perfect
When I try to make sth perfect, it's a almost a guarantee that I will overthink it, which means I will spend too much time spinning with too little progresses. Hence version 25...overthinking is rarely helpful, increases stress, takes a tremendous amount of time, and never produces a better product.
I cleared my schedule for two weeks so I could focus completely on the speech-a big mistake.
Creativity needs to percolate over time. After a few focused hours in a day, my productivity declined rapidly. So what happened to all those hours I had cordoned off to focus on the speech? I couldn't possibly spend them all working on the speech. But, it turns out, I could spend a surprising amount of them stressing about the speech.
So what should we do when we're under pressure to deliver on a big challenge?
1). I ran out of time: There's a saying: if you want something done, ask a busy person to do it...that's when my productivity kicked up. ..don't empty your schedule, fill it. The busier you are the less time you have to get in your own way. I should have cordoned off a few hours each day and filled everything else with work I considered important; 2). change expectations... I stopped trying to make this my best talk ever. Instead, I set a goal I knew I could achieve: talk about one thing-not necessarily the thing, just sth that was meaningful to me- and talk about it simply and passionately.
Life is a process, and while one stellar moment-be it a success or a failure- can make a different, it's far ore likely that the steady production of many adequate moments over a significant period time will make a much bigger different.
There is a simply remedy to the insecurity of being ourselves: stop asking. Instead, take the time, and the quiet, to decide what you think. That is how we find the part of ourselves we gave up. That is how we become powerful, clever and insightful. That is how we gain our sight.
5. It finally felt like mine: trust yourself first
I sent it out to trusted friends: was it interesting enough? clear enough? creative enough? funny enough? yet each time they came back with their valuable, thoughtful feedback, I became a little more lost and a little less sure of my message, my ideas, and myself. It's not that I had a hard time hearing criticism. It was the opposite: I was too quick to incorporate it, too eager to please, too willing to change in order to get the right response. Many of us have spent our lives listening to our parents, teachers, managers, and leaders. Choosing what we are told to choose. Being told gently who we are. Molding ourselves to the feedback of others...
There is good reason to learn from the wisdom of others, but there is also a cost: as we shape ourselves to the desires, preferences, and expectations of others, we risk losing ourselves. Can you trust yourself enough to follow your own impulses?
Once I decided to stop asking others what they thought about what I thought, I noticed sth interesting: I try harder when I'm not replying on others. I fix things I might otherwise leave for others to fix. I work more diligently to ensure my perspective holds together.
I'm not saying we ignore feedback. It's useful to know how others react to our work. After my complete rewrite, I performed the speech several times to different audiences as practice. But this time, I didn;t ask them to assess my delivery. What did they get from my talk? Did I convey my message in a way that communicated my passion for it?..when I finally gave my speech... it felt clear, focused, and authentic. It felt like mine.
7. Everything is amazing and no one is happy: accept reality. Change expectations
I've come to believe the best strategy for reducing stress is to change your expectations...if changing your expectations proves too hard, your next best move is to get some perspective. Settle into new reality
8. The value of drinking tea: make time for rituals
stop going through the motions. take a moment before each task to consider, focus on, and appreciate what you are about to do. That kind of ritualized attention isn't just powerful and productive, it's pleasurable too.
9. Before slipping the Kayak into the water: prepare every day
So each morning, before pushing our kayaks away from shore, I stood there for a few minutes thinking about the plan, the weather, our gear, pullout points, our skills, we might encounter- and then I asked if we were prepared...we are all so busy. In the rush to accomplish more and more, how often do we jump into conversations or meetings or projects unprepared? It's our knee-jerk reaction to having a lot to do. Preparation time seems disposable, so we jump head first into situations and, as a result, make mistakes, take longer, and waste time.
Have you really thought about the work you plan to do?
Have you anticipated the risks that might take you off track?
Are you focused on what you want to achieve?
Will your plan for this day bring you one day closer to what you really want?
10. A lesson from my wireless router: reset yourself
It's strange, because one minute is so little, but when the time was up, I felt noticeably different. I wasn't angry or frustrated or annoyed. I wasn't on the verge- as I was before- of throwing away all my electronics if this solution didn't work. I felt oddly refreshed. My situation hardly changed but my perspective had..when you unplug and wait for a minute, you restore yourself to your factory-default settings, which for most of us tend to be generous, openhearted, creative, connected, and hopeful.
11. this is what it feels like to: stop performing. start experiencing.
12.I have no time to think
Too busy to think, analyze, or reflect on your most important issues? Put the screens away, shut out the distracting noise, and create time every day for unfocused focus time.
13. why I returned my ipad
the brilliance of the ipad is that its the anytime-anywhere computer...so why is that a problem? It sounds like I was super productive Every extra minutes, I as either producing or consuming. But somehtings si lost in the busyness. something too valuable to lose: boredom.
being bored is a precious thing, a state of mind we should purse. once boredom sets in, our minds begin to wander lloking for somthings exciting, interesting, to land on. and that's where creativity arises. my best ideas come to me when I am unproductive. when im running or showering or sitting, or doing nothing, or waiting for someone. when I am lying in bed as my mind wandering before falling to sleep. These "wasted" moments, moments not filled with anything in particular, are vital. They are the moments in which we, often unconsciously, organize our minds, make sense of our lives, and connect the dots. They're the moment in which we talk to ourselves. and listen.
I noticed that my daughter, Isabelle, who was eight years old at the time, was unbelievably busy from the moment she got home from school to the moment she went to bed. Bathing, reading, playng guitar, eating dinner, doing homework, she was busy nonstop until I rushed her off to bed. once in bed, she would try to talk to me, but worried bout how liilte sleep she was getting , I would shush her, urging her to go to sleep.
49. Try this, Instead of preparing clear, well-thought-out (and boring) ppt, try leading informal discussions, using flip charts to collect important points, draw conclusions, and agree on action plans with owners and timelines. Save time at the end to develop communications plans to disseminate the decisions. I'm often a little surprised at how many inconsistencies and disagreements surface only when it comes time to commit to precisely what is going to be communicated.
People tune out because nothing is required from them.
Following the no-ppt rule has the greatest impact because it keeps the energy where it should be: solving problems together.
Last week, I spent two days running a strategy off-site which the CEO and leadership team of a large technology company that is experiencing he good, but very real, problems that accompany rapid growth. Each executive lead a conversation, and each conversation ended with an agreed-upon action plan with owners and timelines.
38. The Training Wheels had to come off (let people fil-or almost fail)
Learning to ride a bike-learning anything, actually-isn't about doing it right. It's about doing it wrong and then adjusting. Learning isn't bout being in balance; it's about recovering balance. And you can't recover balance if someone keeps you from losing balance in the first place.
I had to use more refined judgement. I had to time my catch just right... is the central challenge we face as managers. I had to time my catch just right... it's the sweet spot between micromanagement and neglect. Allowing for failure while ensuring the safety..Our job is to gauge the circumstances correctly. What's the risk, the consequences of failure? Is time critical? Will mistakes destroy the person's reputation forever? Or will it be an effective learning experience?.. Once, we can adapt, changing our response to help the employee learn to recover, stay upright, and keep...
50.The pea haters who ate peas like pea lovers
Create change by telling the right stories
So what do we usually do that doesn't;t work? We try to tell people what to do, often in anger or frustration. Or we try to reward people, financially or otherwise. We send emails to communications to highlight what we are looking for. And we try to punish people who don't follow our direction. None of that seems to work predictably.
In the late 1970, U of Illinois researcher Leann Lipps Birch conducted a series of experiences on children to see what would get them to eat vegetables they disliked. This is a high bar. We are not talking about simply eating more vegetables. We are talking We are talking about eating specific vegetables: the ones they didn't like.
She put a child who didn't like peas at a table with several other children who did. within a meal or two, the pea hater was eating peas like the pea lovers. Peer pressure!
" You change other people with stories. Right now your stories are about how hard you work people . Like the woman you forced to work on her wedding day. You may not be proud of it, but it's the story you tell. That story conveys what you expect of people simply and reliably. And I'm certain you're not the only one who tells it. You can be sure the bride tells it. And all her friends. If you want to change people's behaviors, you have to change the stories they hear and the ones they tell.
Not to change anything else-not the performance review systems or the reward systems or the way people are trained. don't change anything.
To stimulate people's change all you need to do is two simple things:
do dramatic story-worthy things that represent the change you want people to make. Then let other people tell stories about
Find other people who do story-worthy things that represent the change you want people to make. Then tell stories about them.
When bad habits happen to good people
The basic things we all want-fulfilling relationships, accomplishments of which we're proud, meaningful success at work, to be of service to others, peace of mind-are surprisingly straight-forward to achieve; But, in many cases, our best efforts to achieve them are built on habits and behaviors that, simply put, don't work.
Part1:"Change Your mental defaults," you will learn how to regain control of your behaviors and actions...will help you become grounded; Part 2: " Strengthen your relationships," will increase your capacity to handle difficult emotions; help you become connected to the people around you; Part 3" Optimize Your Work Habits" you will learn to work- and lead-in a way that inspires the motivations, loyalty, and commitment of the people around you.
2. Rethinking goal setting:
We all know how important it is to have goals. It makes sense: if you don't know specifically where you're going, then you will never get there. And if you don't set the bar high enough, you'll never get there.
It's not that goals by their nature, are bad. It's just that they come with a number of side effects that suggest you may be better off without them. The author of a Harvard Business School working paper, "Goals Gone Wild," reviewed a number of research studies related to goals and concluded that the upside of goal setting has been exaggerated, and the downside, the "systematic harm caused by goal setting," has been disregarded.
They identified clear side effects associated with goal setting, including "a narrow focus that neglects non-goal areas, a rise in unethical behavior, distorted risk preferences, corrosion of organizational culture, and reduced intrinsic motivation.
A goal defines an outcome you want to achieve; an area of focus establishes activities you want to spend your time doing. A goal is a result; and area of focus is a path. A goal points to a future
It's practically impossible to predict the negative side effects of a goal. When we set goals, we're taught to make them specific and measurable and time bound. However, it turns out that those characteristics re precisely the reasons goals can backfire. A specific, measurable, time-bound goal drives behavior that's narrowly focused and often leads to either cheating or myopia. Yes, we often reach the goal. But at what cost?
So what can you do in the absence of goals? It's still often necessary to drive toward achievements, especially in business. We need help setting direction and measuring progress. But maybe there's a better way to achieve those things while sidestepping a goal's negative side effects.
I want to propose one approach: instead of identifying goals, consider identifying areas of focus.
A goal defines an outcome you want to achieve; an area of focus establishes activities you want to spend your time doing. A goal is result; an area of focus is a path. A goal points to a future you intend to reach; an area of focus settles you into the present.
A sales goal, for example, might name a revenue target or a specific number of new clients won. An operations goal might articulate a cost savings.
An area of focus taps into your intrinsic motivation, offers no stimulus or incentive to cheat or take unnecessary risk, leaves every positive possibility and opportunity open, and encourages collaboration while reducing corrosive competition-all while moving forward on the things you and your organization value most.
In other words, an area of focus offers all the advantages of a goal without the negative side effects... the key is to resist the temptation to identify the outcome you want to achieve. Leave that open and allow yourself to be pleasantly surprised. I'm not suggesting that this is easy to do . I never realized how goal focused I was until I tried to stop focusing on goals. Without goals, I found it hard to trust that anything would get done at all. But things got done. And in my experience, not only will you archive at least as much as you would have if you had set goals, but you will enjoy the process far more, avoiding unnecessary stress and temptation.
In other words, if we focus on the tasks instead of the outcome, my kids will still get to the door on time, but they will have flossed, brushed thoroughly, and left the bathroom clean too.
3. Byron's Real Problem: Commit to following through
Each attempt to motivate himself will only increase his stress and guilt as it widens the gap between his motivation an his follow-through, between how badly he wants to work out and his failure to do so. We have a misconception that if we only cared enough about something, we would do something about it. But that's not true. (the culprit might be follow-through)
Motivation is in the mind; follow-through is in the practice. Motivation is conceptual' ft is practical.
Here is the key: if you want to follow through on something, stop thinking. Shut down the sabotaging CONVERSATIN THAT GOES ON IN YOUR HEAD BEFORE IT STARTS. DON'T TAKE THE BAIT.STOP ARGUING WITH YOURSELF.
4. My first TEDx Talk: ditch the urge to be perfect
When I try to make sth perfect, it's a almost a guarantee that I will overthink it, which means I will spend too much time spinning with too little progresses. Hence version 25...overthinking is rarely helpful, increases stress, takes a tremendous amount of time, and never produces a better product.
I cleared my schedule for two weeks so I could focus completely on the speech-a big mistake.
Creativity needs to percolate over time. After a few focused hours in a day, my productivity declined rapidly. So what happened to all those hours I had cordoned off to focus on the speech? I couldn't possibly spend them all working on the speech. But, it turns out, I could spend a surprising amount of them stressing about the speech.
So what should we do when we're under pressure to deliver on a big challenge?
1). I ran out of time: There's a saying: if you want something done, ask a busy person to do it...that's when my productivity kicked up. ..don't empty your schedule, fill it. The busier you are the less time you have to get in your own way. I should have cordoned off a few hours each day and filled everything else with work I considered important; 2). change expectations... I stopped trying to make this my best talk ever. Instead, I set a goal I knew I could achieve: talk about one thing-not necessarily the thing, just sth that was meaningful to me- and talk about it simply and passionately.
Life is a process, and while one stellar moment-be it a success or a failure- can make a different, it's far ore likely that the steady production of many adequate moments over a significant period time will make a much bigger different.
There is a simply remedy to the insecurity of being ourselves: stop asking. Instead, take the time, and the quiet, to decide what you think. That is how we find the part of ourselves we gave up. That is how we become powerful, clever and insightful. That is how we gain our sight.
5. It finally felt like mine: trust yourself first
I sent it out to trusted friends: was it interesting enough? clear enough? creative enough? funny enough? yet each time they came back with their valuable, thoughtful feedback, I became a little more lost and a little less sure of my message, my ideas, and myself. It's not that I had a hard time hearing criticism. It was the opposite: I was too quick to incorporate it, too eager to please, too willing to change in order to get the right response. Many of us have spent our lives listening to our parents, teachers, managers, and leaders. Choosing what we are told to choose. Being told gently who we are. Molding ourselves to the feedback of others...
There is good reason to learn from the wisdom of others, but there is also a cost: as we shape ourselves to the desires, preferences, and expectations of others, we risk losing ourselves. Can you trust yourself enough to follow your own impulses?
Once I decided to stop asking others what they thought about what I thought, I noticed sth interesting: I try harder when I'm not replying on others. I fix things I might otherwise leave for others to fix. I work more diligently to ensure my perspective holds together.
I'm not saying we ignore feedback. It's useful to know how others react to our work. After my complete rewrite, I performed the speech several times to different audiences as practice. But this time, I didn;t ask them to assess my delivery. What did they get from my talk? Did I convey my message in a way that communicated my passion for it?..when I finally gave my speech... it felt clear, focused, and authentic. It felt like mine.
7. Everything is amazing and no one is happy: accept reality. Change expectations
I've come to believe the best strategy for reducing stress is to change your expectations...if changing your expectations proves too hard, your next best move is to get some perspective. Settle into new reality
8. The value of drinking tea: make time for rituals
stop going through the motions. take a moment before each task to consider, focus on, and appreciate what you are about to do. That kind of ritualized attention isn't just powerful and productive, it's pleasurable too.
9. Before slipping the Kayak into the water: prepare every day
So each morning, before pushing our kayaks away from shore, I stood there for a few minutes thinking about the plan, the weather, our gear, pullout points, our skills, we might encounter- and then I asked if we were prepared...we are all so busy. In the rush to accomplish more and more, how often do we jump into conversations or meetings or projects unprepared? It's our knee-jerk reaction to having a lot to do. Preparation time seems disposable, so we jump head first into situations and, as a result, make mistakes, take longer, and waste time.
Have you really thought about the work you plan to do?
Have you anticipated the risks that might take you off track?
Are you focused on what you want to achieve?
Will your plan for this day bring you one day closer to what you really want?
10. A lesson from my wireless router: reset yourself
It's strange, because one minute is so little, but when the time was up, I felt noticeably different. I wasn't angry or frustrated or annoyed. I wasn't on the verge- as I was before- of throwing away all my electronics if this solution didn't work. I felt oddly refreshed. My situation hardly changed but my perspective had..when you unplug and wait for a minute, you restore yourself to your factory-default settings, which for most of us tend to be generous, openhearted, creative, connected, and hopeful.
11. this is what it feels like to: stop performing. start experiencing.
Tomorrow hundreds of people will be atching you on the most
important day of your life. Try to remember this: It’s not a performance; it’s
an experience.
On the surface it seems easy to remember, but in reality, it’s
almost impossible because much of what we do feels like a performance. We’re
graded in school and get performance reviews at work. We win races, earn
titles, receive praise, and sometimes gain fame, all because of our
performance. We’re paid for our performance. Even little things-leading a
meeting, having a hallway conversation, sending an e-mail-are followed by the
silent but ever preent questions, “howd that
go?” In other words, we think life is a performance …we feel judged by others..
What makes a performance different than an experience? It’s
all in your head.
Are you trying to look good? Do you want to impress others
or win something? Are you looking for acceptance, approval, accolades, wild and
thunderous applause? Is it painful when you don't get those things? You are
probably performing.
If you are experiencing, on the other hand, you are
exploring what something feels like. You are trying to see what would happen if…
12.I have no time to think
Too busy to think, analyze, or reflect on your most important issues? Put the screens away, shut out the distracting noise, and create time every day for unfocused focus time.
13. why I returned my ipad
the brilliance of the ipad is that its the anytime-anywhere computer...so why is that a problem? It sounds like I was super productive Every extra minutes, I as either producing or consuming. But somehtings si lost in the busyness. something too valuable to lose: boredom.
being bored is a precious thing, a state of mind we should purse. once boredom sets in, our minds begin to wander lloking for somthings exciting, interesting, to land on. and that's where creativity arises. my best ideas come to me when I am unproductive. when im running or showering or sitting, or doing nothing, or waiting for someone. when I am lying in bed as my mind wandering before falling to sleep. These "wasted" moments, moments not filled with anything in particular, are vital. They are the moments in which we, often unconsciously, organize our minds, make sense of our lives, and connect the dots. They're the moment in which we talk to ourselves. and listen.
I noticed that my daughter, Isabelle, who was eight years old at the time, was unbelievably busy from the moment she got home from school to the moment she went to bed. Bathing, reading, playng guitar, eating dinner, doing homework, she was busy nonstop until I rushed her off to bed. once in bed, she would try to talk to me, but worried bout how liilte sleep she was getting , I would shush her, urging her to go to sleep.
49. Try this, Instead of preparing clear, well-thought-out (and boring) ppt, try leading informal discussions, using flip charts to collect important points, draw conclusions, and agree on action plans with owners and timelines. Save time at the end to develop communications plans to disseminate the decisions. I'm often a little surprised at how many inconsistencies and disagreements surface only when it comes time to commit to precisely what is going to be communicated.
People tune out because nothing is required from them.
Following the no-ppt rule has the greatest impact because it keeps the energy where it should be: solving problems together.
Last week, I spent two days running a strategy off-site which the CEO and leadership team of a large technology company that is experiencing he good, but very real, problems that accompany rapid growth. Each executive lead a conversation, and each conversation ended with an agreed-upon action plan with owners and timelines.
38. The Training Wheels had to come off (let people fil-or almost fail)
Learning to ride a bike-learning anything, actually-isn't about doing it right. It's about doing it wrong and then adjusting. Learning isn't bout being in balance; it's about recovering balance. And you can't recover balance if someone keeps you from losing balance in the first place.
I had to use more refined judgement. I had to time my catch just right... is the central challenge we face as managers. I had to time my catch just right... it's the sweet spot between micromanagement and neglect. Allowing for failure while ensuring the safety..Our job is to gauge the circumstances correctly. What's the risk, the consequences of failure? Is time critical? Will mistakes destroy the person's reputation forever? Or will it be an effective learning experience?.. Once, we can adapt, changing our response to help the employee learn to recover, stay upright, and keep...
50.The pea haters who ate peas like pea lovers
Create change by telling the right stories
So what do we usually do that doesn't;t work? We try to tell people what to do, often in anger or frustration. Or we try to reward people, financially or otherwise. We send emails to communications to highlight what we are looking for. And we try to punish people who don't follow our direction. None of that seems to work predictably.
In the late 1970, U of Illinois researcher Leann Lipps Birch conducted a series of experiences on children to see what would get them to eat vegetables they disliked. This is a high bar. We are not talking about simply eating more vegetables. We are talking We are talking about eating specific vegetables: the ones they didn't like.
She put a child who didn't like peas at a table with several other children who did. within a meal or two, the pea hater was eating peas like the pea lovers. Peer pressure!
" You change other people with stories. Right now your stories are about how hard you work people . Like the woman you forced to work on her wedding day. You may not be proud of it, but it's the story you tell. That story conveys what you expect of people simply and reliably. And I'm certain you're not the only one who tells it. You can be sure the bride tells it. And all her friends. If you want to change people's behaviors, you have to change the stories they hear and the ones they tell.
Not to change anything else-not the performance review systems or the reward systems or the way people are trained. don't change anything.
To stimulate people's change all you need to do is two simple things:
do dramatic story-worthy things that represent the change you want people to make. Then let other people tell stories about
Find other people who do story-worthy things that represent the change you want people to make. Then tell stories about them.
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