One: Getting Past Splat
p.13: If your team likes you because you’re fair, consistent, empathetic, and a positive person-that’s great, but if they like you just because you lavish them with free dinners and drinks, what have you gained? In fact, you’re setting yourself up for failure. Why? Because if your goal is to get everyone to like you, you’ll find yourself sidestepping tough decisions because you won’t want to upset your “friends.”
p.14: Understand the difference in responsibilities between being the driver and being a passenger. Passengers are free to do a lot of things that driver can’t do. As a driver, your focus needs to be on the road and not on the distractions. As a driver, you no longer have the right to “mess around” like listening to loud music-even though it seems okay to do that as a passenger.
The same principle applies when you become a leader. You are no longer a passenger. Now, you are the driver. Yet even though your responsibilities increase when you become a manager, you lose some of the rights or freedoms you may have enjoyed when you were a passenger. For instance, when you are manager, you lose the right to blame others for a problem in your department. You also no longer have the right to be negative or cynical; you can no longer avoid issues or choose to not make a decision.
You even lose the right to some of your time because you are responsible for other people’s time as well as your own. Speaking of time, what time did you arrive today?
A little after eight-thirty, but the traffic was heavy and it was raining and I thought I left in plenty of time.
"Yes, it was raining, but the rain didn’t make you late. When you accept total responsibility, regardless of what happens or the conditions surrounding what happens, you make adjustments. When it’s raining, you leave earlier, or take a different route, or call and change the meeting time. You control if you’re on time or note. Then rain just forces you to make different decisions."
"The opposite of accepting responsibility is to find someone or something to blame when there is an issue or a crisis. Of course, there is always someone or something to blame, but a real leader sends his time fixing the problem instead of finding the right person to blame. Making excuses rather than accepting responsibility for your actions will destroy your effectiveness as leader. When you place blame, you focus on the past. When you accept responsibility, you focus on this time forward-on the future."
"You have control over how you react to situations, but I’m going to ask you to eliminate blame from your management style-don’t even have the word in your vocabulary-then you can make some positive changes."
"Take a close look at the successful people. Without exception, their success has been created by their choices…you will find they share some common traits, but, believe it or not there is not an enormous difference between highly successful people and those who are not so successful. For instance, do you think that the salesperson who earns $250,000 a year has five times the intellect or the ability of the salesperson earning $50, 00 a year selling the same product in a similar territory?"
"They made better choices and recovered from their bad choices quicker"
Two: Keep the Main Thing the Main Thing
p. 21: Your job is not crisis management, and your people should not be firefighters.
Why do you think everyone on your team knows what they are supposed to be doing if they are not doing it?
What is your priority?
"The responsibilities of leadership can be overwhelmed at times. So many things are coming from so many different directions. That makes it difficult to separate the important from the trivial. So, one of the principle responsibilities of the leader is to keep the main things the main things- the few overriding points or purposes toward which all energy and attentions should be directed at that moment."
So if someone asked us to do something that wasn’t part of our main thing, our manager would support us and say we couldn’t get it done. We were a focused and productive work group because there was a clear understanding of our purpose.
“Why don’t you ask your people what the main thing is?” They probably have different perceptions of what the main thing is. Some people may think making a profit at all costs is the main thing. Others may think decreasing cost-or just going home on time-is the main thing…well, you couldn’t rely on their perceptions. I’ve found when you depend on another’s perceptions to match your expectations, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.
“People leave because their manager is not meeting their needs. People quit people before they quit companies. They lose trust in the person who is supposed to be leading them, and they start looking for someone else they can trust. "
Three: Escape from Management Land
p. 32: "I think much of my frustration stemmed from not knowing what the problem was-much less what to do to fix it."
What are your expectations of Karen?
“I think she should be a better leader,” I began. “She should take the time to meet with me, provide recognition for my team, communicate with me, and help me be better at my job. After all, she is supposed to be my mentor. She doesn’t do any of that—she is only interested in reports and results.”
“I can understand why you think it’s Karen’s responsibility to develop a positive relationship with you.” Tony went on, “and you are right. However, if it’s not happening, it’s up to you to make changes that will make it happen.” “Listen carefully because I had to learn this the hard way. Upward communication goes against organizational gravity and requires courage and persistence on your part. If you make communication a priority with Karen…One thing that you control is your attitude and actions toward Karen. Find out, especially, what she needs from you and tell her, specifically, what you need from her. For example, do you know what her main things are? Does she know what your main things are?
One of the “main things” for a leader is to eliminate confusion-which can paralyze your team- because along with confusion comes fear, anxiety, and blurred vision.
“I learned early on that good morale is hard to achieve when people are confused. Creating and maintaining a laser sharp focus for the team is at the very heart of leadership. And be assured, it’s much easier said than done.”
“When you fail to maintain your focus, the team will wander aimlessly in search of direction and clarity, not knowing where to direct their energy and attention. This confusion and complexity creates dissatisfaction and frustration”
I like Tony’s teaching style…giving me small “bites” to digest before going on to the larger concepts
There are always ‘busy’ things to do in management land. If you are not careful, the stacks of paper become the priority. Paperwork rules in management land! People are busy shuffling piles of paper, and when their desk is clear, they think they’ve been a great leader that day. Also, in management land, simple things often become complex, and people easily lose perspective. ..No matter how brilliant, educated, tenured, or charismatic you are, if you do not escape from management land and stay in touch with your team, you are ultimately going to fail. Successful leadership requires that you develop a team from which you can expect honest feedback and earn wholehearted support.
In some organizations, superstars become “the abused”, as opposed to the “rewarded”, because they have to take up the slack for those on the team who are not carrying their share of the load.
Middle stars are your variable performers. Some days they exceed your expectations, and o other days they fall a bit short of what’s expected. But here is the irony. As the largest group on your team, the middle stars are the backbone. Your ability to affect the performance of this group is critical to your success.
Middle stars have their eyes wide open and constantly on you-they watch to see how you treat the superstars, and then they make the decision whether they want to pay the price to be a superstar based on your actions.
A falling star who is not right for the job and who creates a negative environment within the work group will destroy your team
You should be raising that bar by recognizing and rewarding superstar behaviors! You simply cannot hide in management land, ignore performance issues, and expect your superstars to stick around for very long.
..hitting this club was driving me crazy, but it was also hurting my game, killing my confidence, and affecting my attitude, patience, ego and my score. Continuing to use the club was not the answer to my problem.
The alternative I chose was to accept the fact that this club was not right for me. Even though it came highly recommended and had been a great club for other golfers, it was not the right club for my game. Ultimately, I chose to accept the financial loss and the loss of pride.
The same lesson applies to your work. People who are not the best fit for the position on your team may be an exact fit for someone else’s position. The faster you act after making a decision to dehire, the better it is for you and your team.
“Great analogy so let me see if I can nail it down. I can’t ignore the falling stars. Give them plenty of time to come around, but after I have done all I can do, I need to move forward.”
“Actually, it is their choice” Tony rebutted. “ If they know the acceptable code of behavior, the performance expectations, and the consequences for nonperformance, then they have made the choice for you to move forward…in a different direction.
Often, it’s the “small things” you do that inspire middle stars to become superstars- things like remembering facts about them and their family, asking their opinions, taking he time to listen or merely doing something special when they need a boost.
As far as your superstars, some managers think that superstars shouldn’t be bothered…that they want to work independently and deserved to be left alone. That is not normally the case.
“While they may not want or need you telling them what to do and how to do it, they also don’t want to be ignored. Superstars are often people with strong personalities and egos who need to know you appreciate their hard work and contributions.
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